Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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