That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
