Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
