You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
