so that wasnt chicken after all
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Houston, we have a blender
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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