i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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