Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
