he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
