who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
