cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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