Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
