508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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