The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
