I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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