Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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