Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
