For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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