I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
