Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
