I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
