Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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