No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This is the high leading the old right now
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
