Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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