i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
