Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
