just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
