last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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