sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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