I think my vagina is haunted
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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