You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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