i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
