he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
