Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
