i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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