you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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