Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
