You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
