i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
