I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize