i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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