It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
