It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
