I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
