Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
