Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
