I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
