I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
