Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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