only you would photoshop your dick
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
we should paint friendship bongs
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
