Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
