so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
