Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
drinking out of a sandbucket again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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