Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
