when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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