i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize