they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
