you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize