If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
