i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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