so that wasnt chicken after all
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize