I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
