I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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